okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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