stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
