so explain again why im purple
no
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
