at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
