Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
