She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
