i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize