Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
