it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
