Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
