He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I am full of burrito and curiosity
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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