how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
