when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
