Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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