Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize