i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
