sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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