haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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