Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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