I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
