dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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