redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm passing your future prison.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
