I think my fart just growled at me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
