i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
