If that was your dad, he is hot
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
