i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
