Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
