yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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