Joe is yelling at the trees again.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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