in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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