So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just gift wrapped bread.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
