Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
