i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize