my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
