conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
