I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
