he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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