I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize