Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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