Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
