Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
