You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
