Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
