Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
