On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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