Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
