And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
