Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
