can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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