I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
