So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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