id be glad to
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
