Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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