At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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