now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize