it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
