I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Do vagina's smell?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
