There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize