The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it was like eating out sand paper
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
